{"id":36,"date":"2025-09-14T05:16:17","date_gmt":"2025-09-14T05:16:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/?page_id=36"},"modified":"2025-09-14T07:42:53","modified_gmt":"2025-09-14T07:42:53","slug":"terms-and-contions","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/?page_id=36","title":{"rendered":"Terms and Conditions"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Welcome to MenoPaws! By using our website, booking an appointment, or letting us cuddle your elderly pet, you agree to the following terms. Please read them carefully (or just skim \u2014 we\u2019ll never know).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Services<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We specialise in caring for elderly female animals. We will do everything possible to keep them comfortable, healthy, and loved \u2014 unless they specifically request spa treatments, which are subject to staff availability and cucumber slice shortages.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Appointments<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you book an appointment, you agree to show up on time, bring your pet, and not blame us if your lorikeet gives us sass. Missed appointments may result in us passive-aggressively sighing the next time we see you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Payment<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We accept cash, card, or payment in the form of unlimited chin scratches from your cat (though management prefers money). All bills must be settled promptly \u2014 our therapy goat gets anxious if we\u2019re behind on rent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Liability<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>MenoPaws is not responsible for:<br>\u2022 Fur, feathers, or glitter that mysteriously end up on your clothes<br>\u2022 Your pet refusing to leave because they like us more<br>\u2022 Any emotional damage caused by your dog discovering we have better snacks than you do<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Data &amp; Records<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>By engaging our services, you agree that we may record your pet\u2019s vital health information, favourite nap spots, and least flattering nicknames. We reserve the right to tell funny stories about your pets in the staff room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Funeral &amp; Palliative Services<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We promise to provide dignity and care when your pet reaches the end of their journey. Please note: playing \u201cThe Lion King\u201d soundtrack at funerals is optional but strongly encouraged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Changes to Terms<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We may update these Terms anytime. Usually after a staff meeting, a coffee, or whenever the clinic cat walks across the keyboard.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Welcome to MenoPaws! By using our website, booking an appointment, or letting us cuddle your elderly pet, you agree to the following terms. Please read them carefully (or just skim \u2014 we\u2019ll never know). Services We specialise in caring for elderly female animals. We will do everything possible to keep them comfortable, healthy, and loved [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-36","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/36","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/36\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":82,"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/36\/revisions\/82"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davegearl.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}